Ever wondered how simple life can become if we learn to identify and avoid toxic relationships. These relationships affect us everywhere in our daily life like our workplace, social gatherings and domestic affairs, etc. We often recognize them as truly toxic relationships after certain hard experiences.
The category of toxic relations varies. Relationships at workplace and relationships in personal life both can have different tough consequences on our personalities, behavior and attitude.
Let us identify few of the toxic relations and learn to handle them more positively.
1) Control Freak- A control freak wants everything to be done their way. They are rigid and extremely inflexible. Except for their opinion, there cannot be a better resolve to any problem. They will ensure that the control of relationships and situations all lie in their hand.
What should be our response to them? Confrontation and emotional mellowing never works with them, therefor its important that we are highly assertive with them. No matter how much you do, it will have zero influence on them. However, if you play for time, that works best with them. Avoid being forced to agree or tell them you are with them in those confused situations. Our goal with control freaks is that we learn to manage our assertive behavior, emotional reactions and learn to draw boundaries.
2) Critical People- No! No! No! Wrong! Why! How! What! No!
Absolutely YES, theseare exactly those hyper analytical and picky species that tend to find fault in you with everything. No matter you suggest them a big idea, they will bombard it down without thought. They are highly rigid-stressed individuals and sometimes very insecure in nature. This personality trait is commonly found in elderly people. Dealing with critical people isn’t easy at all. It is suggested that you ignore unnecessary inflammable information and learn to grow from the imperative information that they share. Take out time to evaluate the validity of their comments.
3) The People Pleaser- Oh this person will keep everyone around them at the happiest place. They will say or do whatever it takes to please someone. These bobble heads never show that they disagree with others. They are difficult to understand because others never know how they truly they feel about certain situations. While dealing with pleasers, it important that we give them sufficient space for them to become assertive. Try to create secure warmth for them to recognize their original thoughts and emotions. Let them make decisions and honor their resolutions. It has been seen that these people work best when given deadlines to work within.
4) The Victim- “Poor Me”. These people are very self-doubting, insecure, anxious and lacks confidence. They live with a feeling that they hold no power and no control over their own lives. You will see them playing the blame game in most of the instances. These people will never take up responsibilities to prove higher standards. They are the most exhausting toxic relationships. Dealing with them requires you to be assertive at the first place. You need to be assertive enough to tell them that they need to change (Since most of the issues come from their attitude). They will speak about their problem once, listen carefully and form a solution for them. Don’t let them repeat as they are only aiming to gain sympathy.
5) The Manipulator- Manipulators are great at figuring out how to get their needs met so they are dangerous and gingerly in nature. It is suggested that you trust them with limited access. They can mislead anyone to get their own way ahead. These people will work on your weakness and gain high control over you in a very subtle and devious approach. They capitalize on you smartly to get their work done. They are less recognizable in nature and often identified as wrong friends later in life. Your response to these people should always be time consuming. While they offer an opportunity or a good deal, tell them you will think over it and get back to them. Learn to say “No” diplomatically. Understand your basic nature and avoid such contacts accordingly.
6) The Lazy Person- Lazy people will often chaseshort cuts. They will inappropriately take way anybody’s idea to get through their work. They can be smart enough to convince you to get their work done too by you. Being cautious and keeping ideas to oneself is the only manageable way to deal with them.
7) The Swinging Person- Isn’t is annoyingand unpleasant when decisions are more according to someone’s mood and less reasoned in nature. Never lie your trust in what they say or do as a reflection of genuine thoughts or feelings. They will change their mind as their mood changes. Since the reliability is minimal, overhearing works best with them. Take charge of your work and become responsible with the decisions.
8) Gossip-Shossip- The famous storytellers of the street. They spread stories about people, which may or may not be true. They contribute to a greatcompact of distrust among individuals. They can sometimes shamelessly lie when caught up in difficult situations. Depending on the rumor, deal with them. If it lacks credibilityIGNORE, if it affects your relationships and reputation then confront them in a face-to-face meeting.
We form relations’ everyday and become an active hero of it. It is important to be aware about what kind of relations you are surrounded with. Learning to deal with toxic relationships will enhance your daily quality of life and improve mental stress level. You can consider relationship counseling to feel better about people you love by learning ways that works best with them.
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